I’m back to continue the current topic. This particular part will actually be rather short.

Last week we took some time to learn a process for figuring out what we need, want and last but not least, what we would prefer on our significant other. If you had the opportunity to do the exercise, I would love to hear from you. I’m always curious to know how you feel about the ideas I share. I like to think that these ideas are bullet proof but that could just be my ego. I can only know how they affect you and how effective they are if you share your experience with me.

Assuming that you have completed the exercise and that you’ve learned a little more about what it is you want in your ideal partner, we will move on to thinking a little logical about where we look for what we want and more importantly, how to attract that special someone who will fit perfect next to us as if they were cut out for us like a piece on a puzzle. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was complaining about a flaw in their significant other? Maybe they were telling you all about how much they hated the fact that their significant other loved a strong drink every day after work. The last time I had a conversation as such, I had to ask about how or where they met. To my surprise, the answer was “We met at Blinks”. This obviously blew my mind. I’m thinking that if I want to be with some one that doesn’t drink, I would not look for people I want to date in a local bar. As for me, I like to snowboard and would like to date someone who is active, this would mean that a great place to look for someone who posses this quality would be a snow park, a snowboarding or ski convention etc. I realize that these are really simple examples but I think you get what I’m saying. If you are looking for someone who is a smart intellectual, responsible, educated, cultured type, you probably have a better chance of meeting him or her at a museum or a book store that at a local Pot club. In order to meet the type of person we are looking for, we must first figure out what that person is and then logically think about where those types of people can be found.

I would like to present you with a couple of challenges this week. The first challenge is simple but could prove to require some mental effort from your part. I would like for you to take a look at your list of qualities, close your eyes, take about 20 deep long breaths. While your inhaling, count to 10 and make sure you fill your lungs completely until you can’t take any more oxygen in. While you’re exhaling, count to 10 and make sure you release all the oxygen out until you have none left in your lungs. After the 5th breath cycle, I want you to imagine what this magical partner of yours looks like. Picture in your mind this magical person possessing all the qualities you want. Create this image in your mind with detail, include physical qualities as well as core values. Once you have this image in your mind and you feel satisfied with whom you have created, I want you to see you’re self next to them as their other half. Maybe you are holding hands or hugging. Now here comes the hard part, I want you to think of where you would spend time if you where this person. I want you to put yourself in their shoes and think where you would go to socialize if you were them. This particular challenge will do two things for you. First, it will place you in the frame of mind of being with this person. Feel yourself being with your Mr. or Mrs. right. Second, it will open a world of possibilities regarding new places where you can meet this individual that you are questing for.

The second challenge has to do with the idea that we must be that which we want to attract. You see, the whole concept that great minds think alike is true. Did your parents ever tell you that if you hang with wolf you will learn to howl? Well, I hate to say it but this true. People tend to be attracted to those who think alike and act alike. You know, artist usually like to hang out with other artist. People with dynamic personalities tend to hang out with other with dynamic personalities. Sales guys hang out with sales guys etc. Therefore, in order to attract someone who possess the qualities in our list we must live to the every expectation we have of the amazing person we are looking for. We too must be honest, strong, responsible etc. Take some time and think about those people with whom you feel most comfortable with. Do they tend to have similar qualities as you? Well, keep in mind they will not have all the qualities you do but I would be willing to bet the reason why you are friends is because they share some quality or value that’s a core part of you. You don’t have to worry. If you look at your list and you look inside yourself in search of them, you will soon realize that they are also a part of you. Once you realize that these qualities are in fact a part of you, simply behave in the matter that highlights those qualities and soon you will attract those who posses similar qualities. When doing this, it’s important to understand that if you are a negative person and don’t allow yourself to have an open mind about this process, you will only attract negative people. If I was doing this, I would get excited about the possibilities. I would know that this process will take some time to actually begin to work and not jump to conclusions right away if something doesn’t go as planned right from the start. Remember, internal change takes a while. It’s been said that we must repeat an action 20 times before it becomes a habit. Don’t expect for new personality highlights to become habits over night. This is real work. We have to create new patterns in our brain and overwrite the old ones. These new habits will attract those people we want to meet but not until our new highlighted qualities become habits we do without having to think about them.

Remember, up until now, you have tried the local bars, coffee shop, match.com or whatever means and it hasn’t worked. Therefore, we must think outside the box. You must think different than everyone else. Originality is not easy but it’s not hard either, it just takes effort. Finding Mr. or Mrs. perfect is not hard but it does take originality and therefore, it takes effort.

I hope that some of these ideas work for you. If you find that you like the outcome of your experiment, please share your experience with me. If you would like for your comment to remain confidential, simply let me know and I’ll make sure not to post it. If while going through this process, you have a “a ha” moment and you have an idea that you would like to share, don’t hesitate to let me know. I look forward to hearing from you. Until next week 🙂

Alexis Solorzano