Hello everyone, it’s been a while and how much about my life has changed. I have a 4-year-old daughter. She is still alive, healthy and doing amazing. I am grown up… That is still questionable lol…

 

Recently a very close and significant individual in my life came to me and asked me to write a blog about his and her views. The idea of writing a blog with someone in collaboration sounded amazing. However, it also served as a reminder of my blog and my book. What happened? Why did everything come to an end? Well, in short… kids will take priority even if you do not want them to. In addition, some stormy times whipped my shores. When I look back at the last few years, I just don’t know how I managed to get through it all. They say the hustle is real… It is and sometime you just don’t know how tomorrow will be or how you will feed your family the following week. That said. I put my head down, set my sights, embraced and let go of the negative and learned that it’s not what you have or where you are, it’s about your determination to win. No retreat. No surrender.  To those of you who reached out with a helping hand. For ever you will be in my heart. All the money in the world can’t repay what you have done for me…

 

With this in mind, I would like to share the next chapter idea. Needless to say, this is the idea and not the actual chapter. This is simply my blogging on the concept. When life give you lemons lets me lemonade… This has been often stated and whoever originated this statement is wise. However, I’d like to add a thought. What if we do not just make lemonade? What if we make different kinds of lemonade and invite those around to share? What if we host a lemonade party and turn the sorrow into a party? What if we learn from the party and take something amazing from it?

 

While I was receiving lemons, I realized a great lesson. The light of a candle can illuminate an entire room. Yes, the smallest good action creates massive positive impact in one’s life and the life of others. I’ll explain, when I was struggling (in some ways I am still struggling), a few came to me and with no request offered to help. No string… No expectation of payment… Those individuals have one idea in mind that is the only thing they care about. They loved me and wanted for my life to be ok. They wanted happiness for me with no expectations. It was not a trade. It was a simple gift. I can and will pay the monetary back. I have and will always love them and want the same for them. However, all my love and all the money doesn’t even come close to what it was like to have money to buy my daughters diapers when I had been un-employed. I can’t re-pay that. Even in the event that they are in a similar situation and I supported them, kept them from losing their home etc. I would not be able to help them today if I had starved or ended up homeless… When I realized the depth of their actions, it occurred to me, this is real love. When we think about love, we often think of it as it applies in intimate relationships, how we feel about our children and family. In some cases, we think we love someone only to get angry when they do something that makes them happy. Well, if that something is not something we want them to do. Is that a form of control? A form of expectation? I wonder can you love someone, I mean really love some and have an expectation?

 

We may not understand the actions taken by someone we love. For example, in an intimate relationship, we may not understand why the person we love will chose to have a relationship outside of our relationship. That said, if that makes them happy and we really love them, should we not be happy for them? Why must we get angry when this happens? We may feel bedrail or let down, maybe even hurt, un-appreciated or even scared. It’s a bit disconcerting to wonder if that relationship maybe coming to an end. Maybe we have been sharing our lives together for a while and the idea of having to find someone new is overwhelming. In some cases, there may be financial issues and co-dependencies. Love has nothing to do with any of these feelings. When a family member or significant other decides to take an action that we don’t like, if we really love them, we would and should be supportive. We should find joy in the fact that the person we love is experiencing something that makes them happy. Our fears are really that, our fears. Fear cloud our vision.  Fear will turn to hate. Fear will destroy love if we let it. The individuals that extended monetary support when I was down on my luck probably fear and wonder if they will ever see the thousands of dollars they lend out. However, they did not let that fear get in the way of how much they loved me. How important it was to them that my family be ok.

 

The reason why I feel the next chapter of my book will be to describe my interpretation of love is that after looking back and reflecting, I realized this applies to all aspects. In relationships, we tend to allow our fears to cloud our understanding of love. We often hear to love someone is to forgive.  Yet, somehow we tend to get confused and fail to understand that we are human. We are here to explore, experience, feel, learn and share. We can only really live our lives to the fullest if we are excepting of one another and allow the pace required to let our loved ones live their life, feel and learn. Expectation, fear and week moments will destroy love if we let it. We must remind ourselves that actions taken by those who we love are simply actions required by them to be happy. If we really love them, we should find happiness in knowing they are happy on this journey we call life. They are living, learning, loving, feeling, exploring and navigating thought this experience we call the human experience.

 

I invite you to do the same…

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