I would like to start by thanking all of those who read my little blog and take the time to comment. Know that your comments are appreciated and welcomed. My last post was a bit on the political side of things and even though I enjoy sharing my opinions on political issues, I would like to keep this page somewhat balanced. Therefore, this time around, let us talk about the idea of living our lives for ourselves.

Over the course of several years, I’ve had the opportunity to observe many people and noticed how much as individuals we compromise our lives. Life somehow becomes this constant negotiation.  I would imagine if you stopped for a second, simply took the time to think about your life and reflect on it, you would be surprised as to how many times you have given up things, ideas, projects or interests. Sometimes, we give up on our interests because of time. Our life tends to move on this timeline and maybe we begin to think we are getting to old to try something. A more common example of how time influences our ability to accomplish the things we want, is the fact that our lives get busy with work, kids, girlfriend or wife, boyfriend or husband, dinner, cleaning, homework, DMV, taxes, budget, getting a car-wash and all the many things that we dump on our daily agenda. The time challenge is without a doubt a tough challenge to overcome. Unfortunately, the day only has 24 hours and most people lose at least 5 of those hours sleeping. To this problem, I can only say manage your time and make time to accomplish those things you want. Try to remember age doesn’t matter. The things we do or experience are the very fiber that makes us who we become. We as individuals are an accumulation of our life experiences. Our experiences form a collage that not only create who we become but also strengthens us, makes us more efficient and capable to face new experiences. Remember that no one really knows how long they will be here in this world. Therefore, it’s never too late to learn or live a new experience. We really owe it to ourselves not to cheat ourselves from living.

Another major reason for giving up on things we want tends to be the people we love and the fear of how they will feel or react towards our interest. I often hear people say thing such as “I would love to sky dive but my husband/wife is not into extreme things”. Sometimes, because we know our partner is not into something we like, we might not even suggest doing it. We want to share the excitement but we know they just don’t feel the same way we do about the particular activity. We know they would be miserable if they did it with us. Therefore, we simply give up on living it.

This is a complicated problem with a simple solution. Stop for second, look around you, take a deep breath and allow yourself to realize that this is your life. This is “your” life we are talking about. Leave your fears behind and do whatever it is you want to do. If your partner doesn’t want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t or can’t. Live your life and own it. The other option is to have your life own you and this can lead to having many regrets. I for one, don’t want to wake up one morning, 80 yrs old, wishing I had done anything. Even worst, I don’t want to regret not trying something. Furthermore, I don’t want to wake up one morning and feel bitter or angry towards my life partner because I gave up living for them.

I invite you to be strong and communicate with your partner. Tell them what you want to do. Invite them to do it with you and if they don’t want to, simply say “ok cool, I’ll let you know how I like it after I do it”. If your partner doesn’t want to experience something with you, those experiences you do by yourself will make you more of a unique, interesting individual with a colorful life. When you come back home from doing whatever it is you wanted to do, you can share the experience with your partner. Share with them the new stroke of color that was just added to this wonderful painting called your life. At very least, you will have more things to talk about. If they get upset be understanding of their fear or concern and give them the space to be upset. Remain calm and remind them that this is “your life” and you are “sharing” it with them because you love them. “Sharing” your life is a little different than “fusing” your life.

You probably already figured out from reading my previous post, the ideas I share are ideas I live my life by. I love snowboarding, fast motorcycles, fast cars and anything that gets my blood pumping. Sometimes, the person I’m dating doesn’t have the same appreciation for some of the things I’m into. I’m ok with this. She doesn’t have to drop into the face of Alpine Meadows to please me. The jumping out of airplanes and ridding 100+ mph on a motorcycle with my hair on fire is just where she ends and I begin. I don’t care so much for reading cook books, trying new recipes or shopping but I love to hear about what makes her tick and tock. I love to try her latest dish while we talk about the new dress she picked up. With excitement, I wait to see her in her new dress the next time we go out. She doesn’t snowboard but we sure have a great time laughing about my tumbles and falls when I come back from my snowboarding trips.

It took me years to understand this concept. Furthermore, it took me years to overcome the fear of owning my life. As far as I can tell, the secret or key is to be strong, stand your ground, be responsible and find balance. Share your life with your partner even if it means they are standing on the side lines for a second while you experience your life. Last but not least, respect your partner and allow them the space to do the same. When your partner wants to try something that scares you, acknowledge what you are feeling and brace yourself. Don’t be selfish and open your mind to giving your partner space to live their life. Thrust me, they will appreciate you for it. Believe it or not, after the fact, there is a good chance that you will actually feel good about the outcome and appreciate them for living.

Food for thought: Life is like the movie “Titanic”. We all knew how the movie was going to end. We all knew the Titanic was going to sink. There was no surprise ending. We went to see the movie to see the middle of the story. In life, I’ll save you the mystery. We are all going to die. There is no surprise ending. The journey is what matters. What we do while we are here is what will vibrate and echo through our being forever.

Now get out there and own your life 🙂